The Government's Guide to Screwing up and not looking like it.

Have you ever screwed up and asked yourself "How do get out of this pickle?" Of course, we all have! The federal government has become an expert at it and from its experience in Screwing up I have made a guide for the common folk to get you out of those bad times...

1) Feel free to do whatever you think its necessary without thinking about future consequences, after all, the future will another president to deal with.
2) You can always say that you "heard it from somebody else" and use "bad intelligence" as an excuse. Duh! Isn't "bad intelligence" (also known as "low IQ") what you are supposed to have to become president of the United States? It worked for Dubya...
3) Make sure you always have someone whose career is inconsequential to yours that you can use as an escape goat. You can point finger to that person, they will start pointing fingers somewhere else, and by the time the pointing is over people just forget what they were pointing about... Very simple...
4) This step is very important! You need to make several public appearances saying something like "Everything is under control." This is of course a total lie, but it does give the public a very needed sense of false security.
5) In the event that all of the above fail, you can always bring a picture of a guy in a turban inside a cave and say "it was his fault."

So there you have it. Simple and to the point! If it works for Dubya and Co. it is guaranteed to work for you or your money back. And if it doesn't work it's the guy in a turban's fault! Not mine!

Here is some proof that this system works!

Brown Shifts Blame for Katrina Response

Witness: England Deserves Light Punishment