The Government's Guide to Screwing up and not looking like it.

Have you ever screwed up and asked yourself "How do get out of this pickle?" Of course, we all have! The federal government has become an expert at it and from its experience in Screwing up I have made a guide for the common folk to get you out of those bad times...

1) Feel free to do whatever you think its necessary without thinking about future consequences, after all, the future will another president to deal with.
2) You can always say that you "heard it from somebody else" and use "bad intelligence" as an excuse. Duh! Isn't "bad intelligence" (also known as "low IQ") what you are supposed to have to become president of the United States? It worked for Dubya...
3) Make sure you always have someone whose career is inconsequential to yours that you can use as an escape goat. You can point finger to that person, they will start pointing fingers somewhere else, and by the time the pointing is over people just forget what they were pointing about... Very simple...
4) This step is very important! You need to make several public appearances saying something like "Everything is under control." This is of course a total lie, but it does give the public a very needed sense of false security.
5) In the event that all of the above fail, you can always bring a picture of a guy in a turban inside a cave and say "it was his fault."

So there you have it. Simple and to the point! If it works for Dubya and Co. it is guaranteed to work for you or your money back. And if it doesn't work it's the guy in a turban's fault! Not mine!

Here is some proof that this system works!

Brown Shifts Blame for Katrina Response

Witness: England Deserves Light Punishment

It's not YOUR fault

Never worry about a thing, never take responsibility... Why should you? after all, you can always blame somebody else... If the federal government can do it, you can too!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050927/ap_on_go_ca_st_pe/katrina_brown_hk4_13

Public Service Announcement

I would like to announce to all those "establishments" that charge cover to get in that I will not be buying drinks once I'm inside, and I would encourage everyone to do this. I mean, their charging conver so that you go inside and spend MORE money on drinks and whatever else? I mean, there are places that merit a cover charge, like a decent club or some sort of show. But I've now been to a couple of places where they charge like $8-10 cover, then you get in and it's like a normal place. Are these people on crack?

Anywho, I would just like to let these places know that I will not spend any money while I'm inside. I did that last night and it felt great! It was the first Friday night in which I only spent $8! It felt pretty good... hehe.

Peace

So the IRA has decided to make peace... Wow... what a wonderful thing!

Proud to be Dominican!

Proud to be Dominican! 

I miss my homeland... where else can you find such advanced methods of transportation??

BTW - there is room for one more... lol

Evil WEED!

So Federal court outlawed medical marijuana recently... I mean, I can totally understand their reasoning... You wouldn't want to have those evil medical weed smokers to overrun our enlightened government and take over our blessed country. Especially when they hire those barbarian umpa lumpas to do their dirty work! Just the other day I saw one of them lumpas being commanded by an evil weed-smoker to harrass a poor defenseless attorney. Oh the humanity!!

So it's a good thing those evil weed-smokers are no longer going to be able to draw from the destructive power of that smoking herb to do their evil doings!

God bless George Dubya and his posse!

Fili...who?

Man, I HATE politicians! For all I car they can take all the Republicans and all the Democrats, put them in crates and send them to Mexico, throw them together in a pit and let them duke it out. The winner gets the chicken!

They should replace these people by the mighty and glorious Umpa Lumpas. Their wisdom is much needed in these times of peril.

America's Future

Can someone tell me what's wrong with this picture? 

More than a feeling...

Do you ever get the feeling that this country is being run by a gang of bible-thumping, nipple-fearing homophobics? If not, then turn on the news.

Wake up and Smell reality.

As I keep reading more and more, and I wake up to the reality of the society we live in, I realize that we have a long and arduous fight ahead of us. This could be a literal fight, but I advocate a more peaceful approach to revolution than previous leftist leaders of human history. I believe that peace can win any battle. If Ghandi forced the British out of India without a single shot fired, we can accomplish anything with peaceful methods.

But it's a fight nonetheless. A fight to gain the truth, a fight to give every single human being a life with dignity, whether in the slums of the inner cities of the US or the slave-like conditions of the sugar cane fields of Latin America. Every human being deserves dignity, the right to earn a decent living in which they can feed their families and be able to pursue happiness. How can we do this? I will quote Ghandi himself...

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

Nicaraguan Former Sandinista Denied Entry to US

It's this sort of story that has prompted me to start this blog. I've just been so angry about so many things that are going on with this government that I just didn't know how to express it. I have found that posting on this blog will help me release my anger towards this bunch of republican thughs that are running this country.

Anyways, on to the story... Nicaraguan Former Sandinista Denied Entry to US
I found this story to very interesting... This Nicaraguan lady who apparently had participated in the Sandinista movement of the 80s has been denied entry to the US as an honorary professor at Harvard University on the basis of "former terrorist ties." Apparently to our current government it is the same to fight for your freedom and right for dignity as blowing yourself up because you hate any other religion but your own. I would hate to see George Washington trying to come in to the country if he lived in our times. I guess he would be considered a terrorist and we would be singing "God Bless the Queen."